How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
organizing the empties. That sober.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
its liver damage thursday
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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