so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
don't judge my taste in strippers
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
