just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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