We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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