Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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