was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
