I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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