The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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