Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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