She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
