Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
