that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
