He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
