Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
