Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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