Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Randomize
