she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I have already put on my inside pants.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
