I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
