If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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