I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
