I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
