And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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