Rock
Scissors
Fuck
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
