so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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