do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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