I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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