sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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