Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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