What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
This girl is more easily done than said...
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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