Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
