So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
