I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
do herpes really smell.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
