i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
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