Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
