Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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