I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
