Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
