Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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