Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
