Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
you would pick up someone in the library
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
