I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
