and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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