dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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