using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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