I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
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