If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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