Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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