Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Randomize
