I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
