He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
