That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
